Selene’s genes

1- A non-validation somehow turned into humility, a fear somehow turned into control, an indecisiveness turned into nihilism, a repressed desire turned into philosophy, some books learnt somehow turned into wisdom … your name is complicated. So your boss calls you Melissa. You probably drink a lot, but you answer emails quickly. What more to ask for ?

2- After a day answering YES to what you should dash with a NO, you get home. You gonna get that soup made from Monday’s leftovers, even though we are Thursday night. But you work so much that everyday is Monday anyway.

3- You are now watching TV, zapping endlessly ( look for ‘opportunity cost’, if you want to understand). There is that documentary about a tribe in Africa, ( cause of course ‘civilization’ seems to feel gravity only in some parts of the world, yeah ? )

4- Not only you don’t understand their language, but you think it is a primitive language cause its grammatical structure is not as complex as yours. But really, it is because you cannot recognize the peculiarities of sounds. ( Look for sound-blindness).

5- What seems banal is thought as worthless and that applies to everything. Most of us know at least two languages , that’s a big amount of words, and for you it is not so special. But try to spend a day without speaking a word.

6- Imagine no words to fill the atmosphere, to beautify , to express, to defend you, to protect you, to impose, to dominate …

7- This task was supposed to last one minute, yeah ? We were supposed to walk across the room and randomly stop by someone (I would be lying if I said that I didn’t choose my partner prior to that ) and then you have to look your partner in the eyes. Exchange no words, no gestures, just looks. And , so, you were supposed to guess, who they are , what is their life like , where do they come from …

8- And so I’m asking myself; what is his favorite song (Please listen to Love Is a B*tch by Two Feet )? Please tell me he hates pineapples on pizza ?! is his mom a gemini ? cause it really takes two to make this one.

9- But hey who cares about the stars when you are loved by the moon. A silence that breaks your world without breaking you.

 

Thilleli G.

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When a square number is negative

Sweet violence of happiness
strange warmth of sadness

How fear prevents us from life
but how we are only alive because we are afraid to die

How to leave without hurting them ? Don’t.
How to stay without hurting yourself ? Run.

 

Thilleli G.

Memento

You may enjoy listening to The XX – intro while reading this.

 

Sunrays tearing down the sky
of a place you can’t pronounce.
Turn your head to the left:
you’ve been driving along the river.
Is this a race ?
Then what’s the prize ?
The river throws itself in the sea
and you ? what about you ?
Anything or anyone waiting for you ?
Love, doubt, your daughter, your brother, time, a sweet liquor, God, nothing, bread .
And are you sure you still want it all ?
The wind kissing your face didn’t change you ?
didn’t change a freckle ? your birthmark didn’t follow the sun setting ? Is it still important ?
You are thinking. Are you thinking ?
Wouldn’t it be easier with open hands ?
Let it fall .
Lose control.
Forget what you know.
Cause what you know forgets you.
Cause what you know is true, for a minute, and will then betray you.

 

Thilleli G.

With time

With time,

You’ll realize that his mouth was only shut

because it was on yours.

With time,

You’ll realize that the distance between you and the devil

is the length of your tongue

With time,

You’ll realize that the cracking teeth will teach you Braille

No longer blinded by love , love.

 

 

Thilleli G.

A&A

Parce que le temps n’a pas d’emprise
sur le sang que l’on partage
Parce que c’est à l’aube de tes yeux
que se dissout l’ivresse, la rage

Parce que le passé n’est plus
je me soucie peu d’où tu viens
Parce que le futur n’est pas
je crois en toi, et pas en rien.

Parce que la parole est un péché
Dieu excusera mon audace,
Parce que le silence est d’or
de mes pensées, tu es la préface.

Parce que dans cette vie
on a qu’une seule mère
Parce qu’avec toi,
elle semble ubiquitaire.

Parce que la terre est ronde,
il ne sert à rien de fuir,
je suis entre ces
deux femmes
deux flammes
qu’attisent, entre la mer et l’amer
les vents d’Alger.

 

Thilleli G.

3 : 28 AM

It was about being free
only when strong
It was about being strong
only when bonding
It was about bonds that made us free
It was about days where
nothingness felt like comfort
It was about being obsessed with
empty fists
It was about an endless drop,
a heart beating in the void
It was about the beer whisper
the warmth of women
on a rocky road down Berlin
It was about taking our time
It was about time,
its secret,
the potential truth
the potential falsehood
It is about fear,
of what you are
of what you are not.
It is about that war in your mind,
and you are your only savior,
cause only you can carry yourself,
cause standing up is a reflex ,
and the world is much more beautiful
from a certain height…
So don’t lay down,
don’t sleep
don’t close your eyes,
stay woke.
to whom is the moon gonna talk ?

 

Thillei G.

CairoScene/CairoSeen

1- Tahrir Square. 2 P.M. Maybe 3. It doesn’t matter.
Do not think about time.
The greatest mistake is to think we have the time to think about time.
So, it is 2 P.M. Maybe 3. It really doesn’t matter.

2- I never fully open my eyes, because of the sun.
But oh well, just like your first kiss, there is a lot you can see with closed eyes.
Feel it.

3- In front of me, a kid. He is wearing a ‘Messi’ shirt, wiping the sweat on his front with his arm, spitting on his left and kicking the ball toward his friend. The ball went too far and they want to get it. Do not cross when the road is empty. It is a trap. Wait till the cabs, normal vehicles, horses and donkeys come. It is in chronic chaos, that you’ll figure out your exit.

4- Donkeys are used to transport trash. 16 tons of domestic garbage are produced everyday in Cairo. It takes a lot of crap, to make history.

5- A woman: the mother of one of the kids, is in the balcony hanging clothes. I know, I know, at first you would think that she keeps her mouth shut while her husband brags about cutting her wings to keep her safe from a burning sun. Well, yes she does. But baby, a woman doesn’t fear the darkness of the world. She is the world.

6- She asks her child to get her something from the ‘kushk’ (a little store that usually sells tobacco, newspapers etc etc). The kid gets to his father to get the money.

7- The father; a moustache man, blouse open to a hairy torso and a cigarette on the back of his ear. Not surprising ; cause death is the last note of the concerto your life is. So train yourself. Listen. Listen. Listen to Oum Kalthoum’s “Enta Omri”.

8- The kid walks and gently caresses the wall. The walls are tagged : ‘Misr Awalen’ (Egypt First). With the change, he will go get a ‘kebdah’ (Liver) sandwich. You have to pass by the mosque to get there. A group of tourists gets out of the mosque and they will probably try to be ‘Egyptian’. No, Egyptians don’t necessarily drink from the Nile. So don’t do that when you get there. It is not an ‘exotic’ thing to do.

9- The cat that has been following the kid, stops at a random bar. Inside that random bar, a random guy is getting to know a random girl. A random love story is randomly starting. And in few months, they will break up. The girl, crying the first, second, third and fourth day , would wake up on the fifth day, smiling. The happiness you have when you ‘understand’. Love is not about two halves completing one another, but love is about two ‘completes’ following superposed ways. The girl, is complete. Stretches her arms to see the parts she gave her lover before knowing them herself. Her arms fall back and she reaches for the shirt she will wear today. The only clean shirt : Beauty.

 

 

Thilleli G.

Elements Of Life

1. We liked to pretend that we knew what we were doing.
Or at least, we did everything we were supposed to do by the age of 20:
knowing where it started.
knowing how it shouldn’t end.
2. Teeth cracking. The anthem of your weak body in the cold.
You, not trusting your palms anymore.
Imploring your heart.
3. Heavy breath.
4. Curses in Arabic.
5. Stinky metro station. The sweat of hundreds of souls under time’s weight.
6. Next stop : Times Square.
7. Lights. Impure white. A reflection of our minds.
8. Silence. It was 5 a.m.
9. We opened our eyes on life, in very different situations.
10. He comes from Mansourah, Egypt.
He is water, keeping secrets and running wild.
11. He comes from Setif, Algeria.
He is air, unnoticeable , yet you feel it when he is missing.
12. She comes from Tripoli, Libya.
She is a fire, a scratch of happiness and she’s lit.
13. I come from Algiers, Algeria.
And I like to think that I’m the ground, solid and warm.
14. Awful and amazing events weirdly led us to each other,
and made us experience a shared fantasy, in the ‘ Concrete jungle where dreams are made of’ .
15. See, if some sort of God gave you life
and if he is planning on taking it back at some point
then, you have nothing to gain
but most importantly, you have nothing to lose.
‘why’ is such an overrated question. Love the ones who were once strangers.
And together, be the shadow of God … nothing, everything, nowhere, everywhere.

 

Thilleli G.

History

History;
sophisticated word for what we lost.

Now empty, you want to gain.
But whose hands are plucking ?
You want a name
printed by the wind
You shall desire
Now dreaming about it,
you are living.

History;
sophisticated word for …
death isn’t real
for God makes no mistake.

 

Thilleli G.

I’m better

Nah, ain’t writing about you
Art will never be a thing for you.
I’m just spitting a truth
justice to my youth

Rue des Artistes, just a bit more Egyptian
circus of life, bumped into a magician
We need a beat: Snare, kick , high hat
and the death of the bunny in your hat
Something I should have known
but you said we should only care for the crown.

thought it is the one, peaces
tore me into two pieces
No more bright stars
just deep scars
Every smile frontstage
was a lie backstage
your friends clapping in the first row
You, happy , take a bow

But baby, mama raised a scorpio
you gonna learn how to dance the tango
and you won’t know your loss
until the curtains close
and you’ll think you’re a blackhole ready to swallow
until I end that show.

 

Thilleli G.